Aha moments, Something new to try

Mirrors and magnets…

For as long as I can remember I’ve held tightly to the belief that the world is a mirror, and whatever you are experiencing outside of you is a direct reflection of something inside of you that is waiting to be acknowledged and heard.  This is an excellent practice in so many situations, however there are some situations where all the journalling and contemplation in the world could not lead me to the discovery of what was waiting to be heard…

Except a lot of pain, upset, hurt, and a strong desire to avoid the person ‘mirroring me’….

Lately, while listening to a teleseminar from www.healingwiththemasters.com (Season 8 is on right now!), I heard the speaker say that while the mirror belief is true in some cases, sometimes it’s also a magnet concept at work.  That we’re just bumping along in life, living in the moment, experiencing love for all things and in a state of creation or bliss or joy, and then we’re suddenly faced with someone who is dumping their pain and hurt and upset on us or to us.  Anyone who yells at you, well, obviously there is a lot of pain in their life for them to be yelling, and while it’s very difficult to remember in the moment, it really isn’t personal.  It’s a reflection of their frustration and where they’re at with honouring their emotions, but you were just in that place at that time to be receiving the yelling.  If you weren’t there, chances are they would still be yelling. 

The point is, I had not comteplated before that when I’m in a situation where I cannot find the mirror aspect, it had never occurred to me to just go back to that feeling of joy, bliss, living in the moment where I was at, and bless them and their pain.  If I’m giving off a peaceful, healing vibe, it makes perfect sense to me now that I will attract people into my life who are experiencing great pain and wish to know better for themselves the peace and healing vibe they are picking up from me.

I’m sure there are people who have known me for years that might be thinking – duh Pamela!  Of course!

That would explain so much about the people who have crossed my path….

When we hurt ourselves, we knowingly or unknowingly are in a place where we’re bound to be hurting others.  But when we’re in a state of grace, healing, and unconditional love, the vibe of oneness and that everything is as it should be, then we’re ready to be healers.

I heard another speaker on this series talk about how he has gotten to a point in his life where if he encounters verbally abusive people in his life, which he doesn’t think anyone should tolerate, but not out of a sense of fear or a need to protect ourselves, but out of an unconditional love.  “I am not aware of what in you hurts so badly that you feel you must hurt me/others, but I love you too much to watch you do this to yourself.  Your pain is lashing out begging to be healed.  And I cannot stand by and allow you to think that you can avoid that pain by inflicting it on me/others.  I love you too much to let you live that lie/illusion, and I want you to know that is why I am removing myself from this situation, so that you can be alone with your pain and hurt and work through it.  Whether or not you choose to, is up to you of course, but I want you know that I wish you the kind of joy and peace that comes from working through your pain.”

It sounds so loving and so healing, but wow, imagine trying to really feel the essence of that kind of love in the moment you may be on the receiving end of some terrible tirade?!  I hope to be there someday.  In a state of grace so grounded that while situations may come that get my blood boiling, or stress may come out of nowhere and for prolonged periods of time, but that I will know how to return to that oneness and I can be the gateway towards healing.  

Whatever the situation, a mirror or a magnet, I firmly believe that our emotions are the key to the kingdom.  Recognizing and honouring how you feel, what belief you carry that leads to that feeling, and whether or not that belief still serves you well in this lifetime, is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves.  So as the holiday season is approaching, and we get ready to make some resolutions for how 2012 may shape up for us and our loved ones, set your intention now to spend some time each day (it can be in the shower, while you’re ironing, or doing laundry, or it can be devoted time sitting in quiet meditation or journalling) to check in with how you’re feeling, and honour your feelings for showing up and guiding you towards the answers within.  For all the answers lie within.



4 thoughts on “Mirrors and magnets…”

  1. Felling as though I am responsible for someone else’s emotions or their actions towards me has been for as long as I can remember my biggest down fall!! My question is; how do I stop allowing this feeling of “it was personal”? I am certain that it is something I do that is not recognized.

    For instance, I went to meet the person in charge at a horse farm where I am interested in volunteering. I was told that I would be welcomed with open arms by some who knows some who works at the farm. When I arrived I was greeted by 8 dogs. There was another vehicle in front of me which stopped and I went over to introduce myself. I told her why I was there and asked if I was in the right place. She said that she would get the owner as she was a volunteer. I waited and when she returned she told me that the owner would not be able to come meet me due to a very important phone call. I had also previously called and left a message 2 day before with no call back.

    Even though the woman I introduced myself showed me around I took it very personally and felt like I was being brushed off but the owner. She said she would call me later today…this is the next day and still not call.
    My first thought (which is so sad) was; maybe they don’t like me!! , and my heart feel heavy and I feel bad. I don’t know how to stop doing this!!! I understand what you are saying and it makes sense…but how?
    You have an amazing blog. Thank you for sharing!!!

    1. Here’s what I’ve learned that I can share – we can never stop allowing a feeling – it is an automatic response stemming from very deep core beliefs, and believe it or not, but 99% of us share a common core belief that ‘we are not good enough’ – for some it’s more deeply entrenched in our lives and for others it just acts up from time to time.

      A few tools to consider. First of all, the very fact that you can now observe what your intial feeling was IS AMAZING! Did you thank yourself for having the awareness to be present with how you were feeling?! Second of all, our feelings are not based on facts, so once you’ve thanked that feeling for showing up (bc if you didn’t wonder if they liked you, then you wouldn’t take the opportunity to even consider this post, or your feelings, or your beliefs – everything, every feeling, shows up for you as a gift) so thank that feeling for showing up, put your hand on your heart and take a deep breathe (or two or three if you can) and try some ho’oponopono – Thank you, I’m sorry, I forgive you, I love you. Now you may find yourself feeling a bit more peaceful, calm and even more in the observer mode.

      Time for some facts. What does ‘not liking me’ look like? Does someone not returning your call look like anything? Does someone not having the time to greet you when you arrive look like anything? Or are these two things just occurances that happened and you attached meaning to them, and that meaning triggered deep feelings in you that then led you to loving yourself even more for the time you have now spent honouring what is real – that you are love, that you are connected to all things, that everything is perfect in it’s imperfections and that divine timing is always at work and being unattached from outcomes is really a peaceful way to walk through life? Knowing you, and reading your comment, I can tell you are already there living in the moment because even before you got to your hurt and pain in your story you talked about the 8 dogs that greeted you! You were in the moment, your state of bliss and joy where you felt in the flow – animals are greeting you, you’re about to meet a greet person and you were referred to them, so it’s almost guaranteed to be a good fit and you cannot wait to help out with horses again, so this must be SUPER DIVINE TIMING – your excitement is palpable!

      What I know, but also find very hard to accept, but blissful when I do accept, is that them not being available to meet you, and also them not being able to return your call is DIVINE TIMING, it’s just not what you had in mind. There is another quote from that same call that prompted me to this post that I have been pondering for weeks now – “A Master is not one who knows with certainty that it will all work out, a true Master is one who knows that whether or not it works out makes no difference.” NDW

      I can give you a bunch of rationalizations like maybe they were dealing with the death of a parent or some other trauma that may take them weeks to get back to you – if ever. And who knows, maybe if you push the issue and are persistent about contacting them you will work there but maybe have a bad accident one day and it will set your life on a completely different course. But none of that honours the fact that your feelings showed up for you as a gift to let you know that you could take this opportunity to love yourself and recognize that you are good enough. And I promise you the more you are able to look at the circumstances of stories as just things that happened, and use those moments to recognize how much you honour the goddess within all of us that is also in you, you will find your attention and observing will start to notice new stories in your life. And instead of wondering why the owner didn’t call, you’ll find yourself going out to lunch with the volunteer you met and have a new best friend!

      All we truly have is this moment, and in this moment you are love!


      1. OH my goodness Pamela!! You are so wise and your reply to my comment helped me so much! Thank you!!!!

        When you said; “What I know, but also find very hard to accept, but blissful when I do accept, is that them not being available to meet you, and also them not being able to return your call is DIVINE TIMING, it’s just not what you had in mind.” It hit me like a ton of bricks and tears started flowing. Not tears of sadness but of realization. I am on the right path and that horse farm was not where I was meant to volunteer at and I am happy for that lady not calling me back or greeting me because I am certain that she help me go towards the path I was meant to take.

        I am happy to say that next Tuesday I have an appointment with the volunteer coordinator at an Art Museum and I will be interviewed to work at the front desk greeting people. So your words that you wrote are incredibly wise. You have a gift my dear, your words move me and your presence energizes me!! You help me heal!!

        You are so right about the “DIVINE TIMING”, I have come to understand that I was holding on to the past when I had horses and that comfortable feeling of safety they brought to my life. I was holding on to something that is not necessary now for me to move forward. I don’t need to feel safe or loved with animals to be happy. My life is safer than it has ever been and I am surrounded with so much love.

        When you asked; “Did you thank yourself for having the awareness to be present with how you were feeling?!”…no I did not but after reading your response I did take the time to thank myself.

        My favorite quote from your response is:
        – “everything is perfect in its imperfections and that divine timing is always at work and being unattached from outcomes is really a peaceful way to walk through life”
        You my friend are an AMAZING woman!!!

  2. This blog post reminded me of a quote from the movie Eat, Pray, Love….

    “Maybe my life hasn’t been so chaotic. It’s just the world that is and the only real trap is getting attached to any of it. Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation.”

    I know it wasn’t a major hit movie…but I loved it!!