For as long as I can remember I’ve held tightly to the belief that the world is a mirror, and whatever you are experiencing outside of you is a direct reflection of something inside of you that is waiting to be acknowledged and heard.  This is an excellent practice in so many situations, however there are some situations where all the journalling and contemplation in the world could not lead me to the discovery of what was waiting to be heard…

Except a lot of pain, upset, hurt, and a strong desire to avoid the person ‘mirroring me’….

Lately, while listening to a teleseminar from (Season 8 is on right now!), I heard the speaker say that while the mirror belief is true in some cases, sometimes it’s also a magnet concept at work.  That we’re just bumping along in life, living in the moment, experiencing love for all things and in a state of creation or bliss or joy, and then we’re suddenly faced with someone who is dumping their pain and hurt and upset on us or to us.  Anyone who yells at you, well, obviously there is a lot of pain in their life for them to be yelling, and while it’s very difficult to remember in the moment, it really isn’t personal.  It’s a reflection of their frustration and where they’re at with honouring their emotions, but you were just in that place at that time to be receiving the yelling.  If you weren’t there, chances are they would still be yelling. 

The point is, I had not comteplated before that when I’m in a situation where I cannot find the mirror aspect, it had never occurred to me to just go back to that feeling of joy, bliss, living in the moment where I was at, and bless them and their pain.  If I’m giving off a peaceful, healing vibe, it makes perfect sense to me now that I will attract people into my life who are experiencing great pain and wish to know better for themselves the peace and healing vibe they are picking up from me.

I’m sure there are people who have known me for years that might be thinking – duh Pamela!  Of course!

That would explain so much about the people who have crossed my path….

When we hurt ourselves, we knowingly or unknowingly are in a place where we’re bound to be hurting others.  But when we’re in a state of grace, healing, and unconditional love, the vibe of oneness and that everything is as it should be, then we’re ready to be healers.

I heard another speaker on this series talk about how he has gotten to a point in his life where if he encounters verbally abusive people in his life, which he doesn’t think anyone should tolerate, but not out of a sense of fear or a need to protect ourselves, but out of an unconditional love.  “I am not aware of what in you hurts so badly that you feel you must hurt me/others, but I love you too much to watch you do this to yourself.  Your pain is lashing out begging to be healed.  And I cannot stand by and allow you to think that you can avoid that pain by inflicting it on me/others.  I love you too much to let you live that lie/illusion, and I want you to know that is why I am removing myself from this situation, so that you can be alone with your pain and hurt and work through it.  Whether or not you choose to, is up to you of course, but I want you know that I wish you the kind of joy and peace that comes from working through your pain.”

It sounds so loving and so healing, but wow, imagine trying to really feel the essence of that kind of love in the moment you may be on the receiving end of some terrible tirade?!  I hope to be there someday.  In a state of grace so grounded that while situations may come that get my blood boiling, or stress may come out of nowhere and for prolonged periods of time, but that I will know how to return to that oneness and I can be the gateway towards healing.  

Whatever the situation, a mirror or a magnet, I firmly believe that our emotions are the key to the kingdom.  Recognizing and honouring how you feel, what belief you carry that leads to that feeling, and whether or not that belief still serves you well in this lifetime, is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves.  So as the holiday season is approaching, and we get ready to make some resolutions for how 2012 may shape up for us and our loved ones, set your intention now to spend some time each day (it can be in the shower, while you’re ironing, or doing laundry, or it can be devoted time sitting in quiet meditation or journalling) to check in with how you’re feeling, and honour your feelings for showing up and guiding you towards the answers within.  For all the answers lie within.