I’ve been back to noticing the not enough effect in my life lately. Not enough time to do everything I want to do, see everyone I want to see, be everywhere I want to be and have everything I want to have. It’s a limiting belief common to many of us I know. What I find very interesting is how it manifests in my life, and how I constantly challenge my awareness of this belief and how it drives my decisions, and the gifts it presents to me as well.
Yesterday I accidentally left my wallet at home. I was feeling all excited when I arrived to work – hooray for Thursdays before a 4 day weekend! I was tired though and knew I was going to want a morning coffee (and maybe an afternoon one too!), so when my morning break came and I couldn’t find my wallet, all of sudden my entire emotional situation changed to fear, and I was frustrated that I couldn’t remember the last place I had it. I called my partner in crime, as we had driven to work together that day, but he confirmed it was not in the car. I had meetings lined up for the rest of the morning and a lunch date that was a going away party for a former colleague. So my panic level skyrocketed as I realized not only was it going to be hard to get a coffee, but what was I going to do about food? (Another not enough challenge for me – I stockpile tonnes of food and have an extreme need to keep lots of things at work and at home just in case I need them!) Plus, I knew I had a couple of hours to kill after work and I had planned on doing some grocery shopping (see comment in previous sentence for an extra laugh!) and then sit in a coffee shop and write in my journal. All of my plans involved needing my wallet (aka access to cash) and since the weather was cold and unforgiving, I couldn’t fathom just going for a walk or anything that didn’t involve spending some cash indoors somewhere. (Sitting at my desk at work for an extra couple of hours didn’t appeal to me either by the way….no one feels inspired to produce much of anything during unpaid self-imposed overtime on a Thursday before a 4 day weekend unless maybe you’re an entrepreneur and on some sort of creative roll. I however, was not on a creative roll with my current duties…)
My loving partner, who had compassion for my situation because it would nearly break him too if he were without access to his wallet for a day, offered to leave a VERY BUSY day and bring me some cash to get me through, but with all the meetings I had, I didn’t see where I would have the time to even meet up with him, so I took a deep breath, thanked him, and said I would call if I really needed it, but otherwise would trust that I wouuld be taken care of. So I contacted a friend that I was going to lunch with and told her my plight and she said she’d be happy to pay for my lunch and give me an extra $5 to get me through any afternoon caffeine requirements I may have! 🙂
A part of me vowed to always keep $20 stashed somewhere in my office for days like this, but the other part of me was extremely grateful that I had friends who were willing to help me out, and that I could recognize that abundance and feeling like I have ‘enough’ does not come from having a wallet. I had a lovely lunch, an afternoon coffee and as it turned out did not need to amuse myself for a couple of hours after work, so in the end it wasn’t a big deal. But just when you don’t have the feeling that you can get whatever you may want or need, it’s amazing how you notice all the temptations to spend $ and how easy it is for you to say no because you truly don’t feel as though you have enough $ to get them, and therefore don’t need them immediately as badly as you thought you did. I am a material girl and I love the material things this world has to offer and I often get caught up in the desire to have and do more ‘things’ requiring more cash. I often justify it by saying that $ is just energy and I’m willing to exchange energy for energy and keep it all flowing, but the truth is that the $100 worth of make-up that expires before I can use it all and I must throw it out or risk skin irritations from bacteria, is not the kind of energy exchange I’m truly looking for.
So I’m grateful that I forgot my wallet at home yesterday. It taught me some valuable lessons about how strongly the not enough effect works in me. It also taught me that abundance is indeed everywhere and for everyone and sometimes we must look to unusual (or logical) places to see it and be able to feel grateful for it. It also taught me that I didn’t really need groceries last night! hehe
Have you forgotten something that you thought you needed lately? Were you annoyed at yourself for being disorganized, or did you take a moment and ask yourself if you really needed it after all? Or did you find that the need was fulfilled in other ways? These are the little life lessons that we teach ourselves through our actions. This is also the law of attraction. The part most people avoid like a disease, thinking that they are doing something wrong if they attract ‘mistakes’ like this. In fact, I see this as a lovely gift I gave myself yesterday and am grateful to the universe that I was able to see it and really get it! Until the next time I leave my wallet at home anyways…
May you find the gifts you’ve given yourself in this beautiful day and be grateful for all that they bring to you and yours….
Light and love,