What if I see myself as overweight, but others find me attractive?
What if I see myself as under-experienced but others find me a valuable professional asset?
What if I see myself as kind and caring and others see me as selfish and rude?
What if the way I perceive my situation right now is not really how the situation is, or how it is perceived by others?
I’m not talking about living your life according to the ‘good opinion’ of others as Wayne Dyer has talked about. No, rather, I’m suggesting that we often get so caught up in our stories that we tell ourselves about our lives and who we are, and what we’re doing, and who we’re doing it with, that we sometimes lose the perspective that it isn’t necessarily reality. Or at the very least that others have a different take on reality than we do.
In the quiet moments where you catch your inner-dialogue going off about how your partner doesn’t love you b/c they said or did this, ask yourself if there could be a different way of perceiving this situation. Maybe it’s b/c they love you so much and are afraid of being too vulnerable themselves that they lashed out like that. And maybe your reaction to them would be different if you carried the perspective that they loved you so much it scares them, rather than they mustn’t love you b/c they acted that way.
I find that many things in life are easily diffused if one is able to seek a different perspective or understanding. And sometimes just holding space knowing that a difference one exists, even though you may not be able to see it or understand it right now is enough to provide peace in the moment.
And this works in both polarities. You could have this perception that you’re on top of your game at work and then something happens to shatter that reality and suddenly you feel as though your skills are lacking and you simply must do something to make up for it and to get back that feeling that you’re on top of your game! Don’t be fooled into thinking that feeling good is the goal. Being at peace with what is, whether it be feeling good or feeling bad, is a powerful state to be in. And my experience in life has taught me that both feeling good and feeling not so hot will weave in and out of my path often, and in a seemingly random fashion, however, the one constant is that I can be ok with it if I choose to perceive it in a way that brings me peace even if the situation doesn’t change.